Are you looking for short funny quotes? Come see what we've got...
Some of the most hysterical quotes are shorter than your average quote. You’ll see why these short funny quotes made our list.
Zsa Zsa Gabor was an entertaining actress with multiple husbands (not all at the same time unless you count her on-screen hubby ) and she once said this, “ I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house”. She also is credited with this quote, “ I want a man who’s kind and understanding, is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”
John Peers said the obvious. He said, “ Never stand between a dog and the hydrant”. Maybe he found out the hard way.
Men and women should both relate to this famous quote which is anonymous. It is
“ Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent”.
Another famous anonymous quote is “Marriage is when a man and a woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one”.
Geri Jewell said, “ You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman is plucking your eyebrows. That’s how I originally got pierced ears”.
Will Rogers said, “ Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?” He was also credited with saying this, “ Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf”.
Another short funny anonymous quote is the following: “Do you know why they call it PMS? Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken”.
Hilary Clinton is credited with this quote and maybe later Bill will be. She said, “ I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President.”
All time favorite comedian, George Burns said, “I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat it anymore”.
Grouch Marx said this of marriage, “ I was married by a judge and I should have asked for a jury”.
A true anonymous quote is one which always manages a couple of chuckles and it is “A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory”.
Humor, short or long, once quoted becomes accepted as politically correct. However, not all humor is always politically correct. If in doubt, ask Hilary.
